The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.


If you have questions, then this is the right place for you! If you don't but you're bored and trying to find something to occupy your time, then you can just read the questions and get the answer immediately after. It's amazing.
  • What's my name?
  • What do I identify as?
  • What do I do?
  • What college do I go to, what do I study, etc.?
  • What will I blog about?
  • What are my leisurely interests?
  • What are my academic and political interests?
  • What are my ambitions?
  • What's going on with this blog?
  • Why have I decided to revive this blog?
  • What's Place Filled With Flames?
  • What's Reclusive Wanker?
  • What's Psychotic Justice?
  • You've really changed a lot? This is a question?

Without further ado, I present

The Veteran Blogger

19 year old Malaysia. I work with children in various voluntary commitments and tutoring engagements and accompanying internet culture. Occasionally writes or tweets micro-level analysis of popular media. Interests include historical materialist and radical feminism, critical theory and literary analysis, fandom culture, Broadway, (ice) hockey, horses and anime, among other things.
Taken from my Google+ account. And now, for a brief question and answer session, with me, answered by me.

That's cool and all, but like, what's your name?
It's Effie.

Who and what are you, exactly?
I identify as a: woman, Muslim, lesbian (don't call me queer). I "identify" as a: womanist/Marxist feminist, Marxist, lowkey lesbian separatist. I'm Malay and from Selangor, Malaysia.

What do you do?
I'm a teacher. I freelance as a private tutor, and work part time as an Assistant Instructor at Kumon. Aside from this, I'm committed to a few other volunteer commitments involving children. As of October, I am an intern at the All Women's Action Society. I guess I write, too. I am writing right now. But I always shy away from adopting that as a label.

You're kinda young - don't you go to school or something?
Last year, I completed my foundation studies at INTEC, Shah Alam, having applied to and been accepted by a number of universities. I chose Smith College, MA and will be attending Class of 2020, following this gap year. I'm almost certain I'll be majoring in Economics, and minoring in Women and Gender Studies. This year, I've been keeping on top of my studies since I do private tutoring. I'm also enrolled in some online courses.

What are you going to be blogging about?
Personal updates, mostly. Thoughts. Feelings. Words. I'm good with words, I've been told (and I'm pretty intent on proving everyone wrong!). I want this to be a space where I can talk about anything, but I'm not 14 anymore, I don't care to blog about my friendship dramas or record day to day minutiae (I tweet about those things now). I've got a couple of ideas for posts I want to write up, and they'll be following in the vein of stuff I wrote last year, stuff I published as an intern last year, and just general blatherings.

So tell me, what are your interests?
Right now I'm in hockey hell. I like a lot of players from many (sometimes rival) teams; suffice it to say that my #1 is the Pittsburgh Penguins (I'm one of those! And I'm annoying too!). I watch anime and read manga, and was really obsessed with Kuroko no Basket back when it was still running. I have a pretty impressive figurine collection for a nascent anime fan, plus a mini-basketball set installed in my bathroom. In no particular order, I also currently like: horses, 'Bet On It' as performed by Zac Efron, The Mountain Goats, Arrested Development, and Bojack Horseman.

Uh... I meant, academic and political interests?
Materialist and radical feminism (a lot of feminisms, really), critical theory and literary analysis (I haven't read much but post-structuralism and post-modernism intrigue me... I'm not one of those, though, and I'm not annoying), gay and trans liberation, environmental justice, education equity and reform, mental illness (I'm critical of Psychiatry as an institution), children's rights, indigenous rights, workers rights, and disability rights. I'm anti-capitalist, anti-settler colonialist and imperialist nations, anti-Zionist. These are just words, though. I want to learn and be able to contribute more to the table.

I'm also interested in exploring the personal, emotional relationship between a person and their involvement in fandom culture. Or in other words, "how we relate to media, how committed we are to it, and the cognitive impact of that commitment." This is a personal project (which you can view on my Wordpress) and not really all that serious. I'm not interested in academic study of fandoms.

That's pretty neat! Sounds like you've got some great stuff going. What's next for you?
Involving myself in advocacy work takes a lot out of you, and I don't think I have the tough skin for it. After college, after (fingers crossed) my Masters, who knows. I'd like to work with children. I'd like to open up a center that acts as their safe haven and refuge away from school and/or families. I'd like to live on a farm with lots of animals. My dreams aren't big and I mostly yearn for a quiet life. But first, I suppose I gotta pay my student debt.

Frequently Unasked Questions

Update August, 2015: The last time I answered these frequently unasked questions was (here, I'm making an estimation based on what was previously written here) early last year. For reference, this is what the FUQs looked like before this update.

Again, what's going on?
I quit blogging for a year after my meltdown in Form 4 (where I dropped out of high school, came out as various labels ranging from *shrug emoticon* to political lesbian, stopped shaving, and survived multiple attempts made on my life by my own mental illness). Then I started again. Then I stopped again. Then I started again. And then I stopped again for a whole year. If you're an old reader, welcome back. This might interest you. If not, then this part of the introduction's not going to be very interesting, is it?

Last year's revival attempt was pretty pathetic, but I wrote some cool stuff, which I've compiled here:
  • Softly, Softly - one of those 'I'm back!' posts that I try to write at least once a year
  • Et tu, Brute? - The Fault in Our Stars movie review (or the one where I demonstrate I can't write movie reviews)
  • A Conversation on Marriage - what it says on the tin
  • Classroom Discussions Centered Around an Ex-Social Worker - in which my Soc lecturer is an asshole
  • In Which I Don't Have a Sense of Humor - 22 Jump Street movie review
  • Revisiting My Special Snowflake Syndrome - some personal musings to cap it off before I disappeared off the face of this blog for one whole year
So why are you back?
Bored. By popular demand. I woke up one day, realized that I had forgotten how to write, had a mild panic attack, and then decided to do something about it. I have a lot of unsubstantiated thoughts constantly waiting to be made substantial, and tweeting it all out in half-English, half-frustration with 'lol's instead of punctuation only gives you so much satisfaction. Sadly, they're still not paying me to write about how I sit in front of the computer all day long, doing the world the greatest of services by weeding out the bad fanfiction from the good. Now at least I have an excuse in that I get paid to do other stuff. 

What's Place Filled With Flames?
If you're a returning reader, you may remember I sometimes talked about my private blog but you most probably don't. I synced all my old blogs into one, so the Place Filled With Flames tag is brand new content for old readers. I slaved over whether it was a good idea to publish it so wide in the open, but it's mostly cryptic posts that you wouldn't understand out of context. Here's the tag for it.

What's Reclusive Wanker?
Name of the blog I ran for about 8 weeks after ceremoniously quitting Psychotic Justice. Didn't last long at all. I wrote posts on a weekly basis and ended up just going through the week forgetting to write anything entirely or to jot down what was going on for future reference. Posts longer than you've ever seen them before with highly personal content. Like Place Filled With Flames, it makes my face burst into flames to read what I wrote some odd years ago, but everyone says stupid things when they were younger, and some people never stop doing it. So.

There's only eight posts, so here they are in chronological order:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8

What's Psychotic Justice?
Ah. That. I started blogging when I was 11 (or was it 10? Time really does escape you when you're this old) and at 12, I stuck to one blog consistently: psychoticjustice. Don't ask about the name, as it came from the minds of a 12 year old and that is a place I'd rather not enter willingly. Psychotic Justice's 5 year run ended like many things did post-meltdown (see above), and that's when my relationship with blogging (and this blog in particular) became the on-again-off-again disaster that it is today. I'm still lamenting the loss of my Good Writing days. Now, I can't stick the URL anymore and I'm trying to standardize all my accounts on basically all websites to read me as redrumming.

Where are all those old Psychotic Justice posts now? Still around unfortunately. You really just have to dig a little deeper to read them. Please don't read them. But for organizational purposes, here are the tags I frequently used: Personal, Opinions, Fandom: Glee, Fandom: Potter, Writing, Announcement.

Here's a chronological archive:

You've changed!
Like I said in my letter to returning readers, I am old. I have lost the ability to be uncritically enthusiastic about things I love and feel passionate about. I am emo. On a related note, my sense of humor is actually just indecipherable now. I wouldn't try if I were you. There's this, and then there's the fact that I don't believe bears are real, and am a fan of horses and ice-hockey despite my gripping fear of being trampled by a horse and of blades.

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