The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Tracker Jackers

The inner ginger-headed counselling teacher with a really awesome wardrobe full of colorful cardigans in me refuses to admit to the fact that the past three posts on this blog (this one included) had titles starting with a T. It's really annoying. I've always been careful not to lump in too many titles beginning with the same alphabet in a row. It's giving me eczema just looking at it. Actually, no, I don't really have a skin condition, it's just really annoying, you know? But I decided like, a week ago that it's all right. Break the rules a little bit. Live on the wild side. #yolo. So who cares? T is a great letter. The letter 'T' appreciation week! Plus, it gave me a nice intro.

Wednesday was when the sick came. I don't know what's come over me these past few months. I've gotten sick twice. Once during and around Christmas, and now again. We can only thank God that it's after the exams. Only, you know what, there is nothing to be thankful for (other than wiping out all my minor sins, thank you) because I'm only now feeling slightly better (well, tremendously better actually, but who's measuring?), but that doesn't make up for the fact that I spent what I think is a whole entire week feeling like crap.

I don't know why I went to school on Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday. I think Wednesday because I was going to be missing school on Thursday to go to a Finance Workshop for YE, Thursday because I was going to a Finance Workshop for YE, and Friday because of prefects' meeting. I hate being sick. Like, really. I don't get sick. I don't know what your problems are antibodies, white blood cells, all you guys, but buck the fuck up because I am so tired of it. Like, a light cough or stomach ache here and there to excuse me from school but don't start up a full out war. I haven't been able to taste my food for a week, or smell anything which really isn't a con except for the fact that I can smell my snot, and shivering and sweating on my bed at night, alternating between turning the A/C on and off because I can't make up my damn addled mind.

Also, the tracker-jacker headaches are the worst. I went to sleep on... maybe Wednesday or Thursday, at the peak of all of this and when I woke up? Couldn't lift my head. It was so heavy and pounding and I felt like rolling on the floor and trying to stamp it out like you would stamp fire out. I guess you could say the worst part in all of this would be on Friday when there was a fire drill. I am not kidding. Fire drill means sitting out in the hot sun with a bunch of other people just carelessly breathing in the same air as you do. It's ridiculously horrible.

I want to end this here because I actually have tons more to talk about (just about two or three more things) and they'd sound better in separate posts. Look at me, telling you all of this like you'd actually care. I certainly don't.

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