The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

In Which Hanna Is A Duck

Conclusion: Despite the fact that there are tons of things I can't talk to them about, either because they lack the knowledge or the interest, it's interesting enough to note that I can have a good time with them. Well, hello. I bet this was a shock, wasn't it? Reading a conclusion before reading the actual course of events? I thought that since I'm bored, it wouldn't hurt anyone to shake things up a bit. Plus, once you've finished reading everything, you could always just scroll back up and read the conclusion. Not that the conclusion is anything new, it's more or less a reiteration of... my life.

So there was to be a sleepover of non-epic proportions following the last paper of the March tests, which was on Friday. Intan and Hanna were confirmed to make it, and so were a bunch of other people really, until Nadiah (flake) said that she couldn't come and Nisa (hypocrite) said pretty much the same thing. I hope you two have fun at the chapel. You surely deserve each other. Well, at least I had Intan and Hanna, which compared to nobody, seems all right to me.

Hanna came at three and I was still in my... no, wait, I had already showered by then. I had showered and changed and probably put on deodorant and called Hel to tell her that I wasn't going to practice. I just hadn't had lunch yet. So Hanna and I watched TV, Castle and later on Ugly Betty, while I had lunch. Somewhere after Castle and halfway through Ugly Betty, Intan came. After I changed, we decided to go for a walk. Where else but to Nisa's house so we went there and she was in a somber mood and I was sick of her somber moods. I guess the fun part of the whole thing was the backstabbing we did (not of Nisa), which, I know, cannibalism. But people really can't act like that and expect other people not to speak ill of them behind their backs. I'm sorry I'm not sorry. Nisa was surprised that she was allowed to go to 7Eleven with us. Intan walked slow. And a combination of Coke and all the walking led to my having cramps so Hanna walked Nisa back to her house while Intan and I just sort of sat in front of someone's house. If you haven't guessed yet, that was the worst paragraph I've ever written in my life, I think, aside from all the crap I had to forcefully spew for English papers.

When we got back, it was mainly computers. Computers and showers and ordering Nando's. It was Intan's first time having Nando's. So cute. She said it was the best meal ever. Nobody ate the corn. That's sad. Anyways, we had Confession Hour after, which could never have happened had Nisa been there, and I tried to give some of my sage advice about body image issues but nobody seems to be able to take a stick seriously. Which, I understand, but good advice is good advice, and not to mention hard to come by so. Afreena interrupted this sleepy session and she introduced us to some of her friends via Skype. They were mostly shy and hid their faces behind their hands. Hanna was kind of annoying in how she kept going on and on about Afreena's accent, which she has somewhat acquired now. But that doesn't change Afreena one bit. "I thought she was black lol. Turns out she's Indian."

Somewhere between setting up the mattress and stuff, I unearthed my old diaries and Intan and I had a blast reminiscing. I'm honestly glad that Intan and I can remain friends after all these years even though we've sort of branched out and developed totally different interests. We still have some similarities (plus the past) to hold onto. One of the highlights of the night was when Intan went, "I like Cults," and I was like, fuck yes. Sadly Intan had to go early the next morning, which meant that it was just Hanna and I heading off to KLCC.

I am honestly so not shocked anymore at being able to hang out with Hanna and only her for long periods of time. Like, the first time we tried it back in Form... oh, I don't know. Two? Three? I thought it was going to be a disaster and awkward and there was always this sense of apprehension sort of hanging around but I guess that just proves how totally and oddly comfortable it is to hang with her now even though we basically have nothing in common other than talking about how life, at present, sucks and how the future will hopefully bring better things.

Dimerit points: I have been technically keeping mum about the whole Kony 2012 thing and, well, it really is hard to not talk about it since it's the fresh off the frying pan hot shit of the day. I sort of scoffed at something Hanna and Intan were talking about the night before and I guess Hanna went, "Are you heartless?" or something, but never mind that. We were talking about it (I was talking about it, I guess, I mean, these things, you know) and Hanna was quiet for the most part until she started vehemently interjecting with some information about IC that I, for one, have never heard of. I decided from that point on, it was best to just humor people. Also, from that point on, Hanna kept saying, "There are more important things than Kony," which got me confused. But true to my words, I'll just keep on humoring them.

We also talked about how Hanna managed to answer her English placement test with what was apparently flying colors. She just asked herself, "If I were a Malaysian English teacher, what answer would I give?" And in some respects, I am glad that things panned out the way that they did (I mean, other than the fact that 4SC English class is easy living and there's Divyia and Pri). I am glad that I got in the third class for English and Nadhrah got in the fourth. Because if that hadn't happened, then there really wasn't much to back up my theory of, "Man, these English objective question papers are motherfucking off their dicks." Okay, maybe I'm not glad. I'm not glad that English teachers could, in good conscience, take a glance at the PMR English papers and say, "Eh, it's an acceptable measurement of a student's grasp on the language." I understand why, because there are people in the middle of somewhere who are really, really not good at English. But to prioritize them and to make way for them, why put me down? (Whoa there, you selfish whore.)

Huh. I am actually irrationally angry at this. Still. Oh, well. In the four years I've been at that school (well, almost four years), I've heard every single English teacher mispronounce at least one word, so for me, I'm feeling pretty up myself right now.

Hanna and I basically just walked around, talked, she bought stuff, we bought stuff, had lunch, walked around outside, I bought a pretzel, and it started to rain, and we ended up waiting for my Dad at the wrong entrance so we had to walk a long walk to get to the right one and I developed blisters. It was, all in all, a charming way to spend a Saturday. Hanna went home soon after we got back to my house, and I showed her a little bit of 8 with Chris in it and I said, "This goes on for two hours," and she said, "How can you stand it?" and I shrugged.

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