The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Ay, Caesar, But Not Gone

Welcome to the first day of March, as written on the fourth day of March. Today was the momentous birthday of one Justin Something Bieber, which was heavily celebrated at school by Divyia and Xueh Wei. She (Divyia) stressed that shit like it was the date of her death or something, but I see her angle here as I would have promoted Chris's birthday as being something of far bigger importance than my own. I mean, who cares if I was born on that day? What have I so far in my sixteen years of life contributed to society? Whereas Chris... So, you know, say no more, Bieber fans. I got your back (metaphorically and somewhat not-seriously).

We had BM first thing in the morning again, and I've somehow lost my Tatabahasa book, which after nine years of going to school and nine years of losing books, you'd think I'd already be used to by now, but it stills comes as a shock. And it still makes me panic. I guess I'll just have to rewrite the whole thing again since our teacher never had it marked yet. It's not like I can find the time to go and search for it in my house or anything. And even if I did, there's hardly a guarantee that I'd find it, in the pigsty I call my room or anywhere really because I've taken to studying at different corners of the house every hour. So, in conclusion, even though I've written a paragraph on it, who cares about my lost book? I don't.

We had Islamic Studies after that, and now would be a good time to mention that Nisa took another day off. I have since stopped caring about this felon. If she chooses to spend her days wallowing in homebodiness then it's none of my business and if she calls me for homework, then that automatically becomes none of my business, too. It's not that I don't respect her as a person, I kind of do and all (on and off), but I just can't respect this attitude of hers that attending school is not important. I've always viewed school as a sort of penance for something that we did wrong or are about to do wrong, a punishment that we all have to go through, sort of like prison, and it's unfair for one individual to think that they are above said penance and skip out on school for the sole reason of "I woke up late" or "I don't feel like going to school". There are days when I wake up in the morning and cry at how unfair the world is, and nary a day goes by that I don't leave my Dad's car with these words ringing in my head: "I hate school, I hate school, there's nothing in the world I hate more than school." I've come far from the topic of "we had Islamic Studies after that", haven't I? 

English after that was thankfully had in class, although whether or not that's an improvement remains to be seen. We did literature, I think. Maybe not. Probably. Yes. During recess, Divyia and Xueh Wei both got replacements because they wanted to spend the half an hour blowing out candles and singing Happy Birthday for Justin. I respect them for not having two fucks to rub together. I highly, truly do. Xueh Wei got a tiny cake, which I guess is within school regulations and people may cry "foul" all they want, but none of us are really willing to penalize each other because we're all prefects. Basically, we rule the school. But don't tell anyone I said that. Divyia brought two muffins on which she had stuck two candles on. Since she couldn't bring a lighter to school, the best course of action to take, according to her at least, was to draw tiny little flames and stick it to the candles, thus flicking the paper flames off after "blowing" the candles. There were two candles, which must have signified eighteen, but maybe they just didn't care, and either way, this is a long paragraph given that I'm talking about candles and Justin Bieber's birthday. Let's make it longer, shall we? After recess was Mod Math at the library, followed by Chemistry and Biology. For Bio, we did a little "revision". Stupid me, I thought revision meant actually going through what we had learned. Of course, teacher just stood in front there and talked. There's really not much to add to that.

Stupid me, again, I forgot to mention the extra Accounts class we had on Wednesday which I attended instead of Ranger. It was all right.

Anyways, for Bio and Islamic Studies, it really feels as if the teachers expect too much out of us, being a top class or what have you, but really we're blind and clueless and worst of all, stupid, and most of what's coming out for the exam, we haven't properly covered. Hey, teachers, if I get good grades on this, I know who to thank. God!

The day ended on a... yeah, I can't remember.

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