The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Just Go With It

So today was PMD for us and I know what you're thinking: lame but overall enjoyable activities! Getting to spend time with friends! Day off studies! And all that crap, but nope. Not today. Today we talked about guys. And not even in the good way, you know. Not even in the what to do in so and so situation way. Basically all I got from the talk today was: don't fall in love. Don't do it. Don't go hanging out with guys. And for the love of God, don't get a boyfriend.

Two out of three of that are (barely) reasonable. Don't go hanging out with guys. Okay. Why not? That's a golden rule adults like to stick to for girls. Parents don't exactly go telling boys not to hang out with girls, but then again, how should I know, I'm a girl and therefore, I've never been raised as a guy before. However, in this situation (and in the pervasive society of rape culture that we live in in Malaysia), I for one would think it better that parents advise their sons not to do creepy stuff to girls instead of advising girls to beware. Because Earth is our home and both guys and girls deserve to coexist peacefully without girls constantly pointing the finger at guys for being creepy, and guys being creepy in the first place.

Don't get a boyfriend. Of course. That's like second in command to the "don't hang out with boys" commandment and mostly it comes into play when the girl in question failed to follow the golden rule. Or in the case of some weirdos who make friends and subsequently boyfriends through online experiences, I guess different rules apply. But those people are freaky and should be dealt with as they deserve (I'm not talking about the healthy relationships fostered through internet relations - I'm talking about those random dudes adding you on Facebook or whatever and getting all up in your business).

But don't fall in love? Don't feel? That's just weird. I mean, I understand that the number one message that they're trying to send us here is that we must love God first and foremost and definitely, without question, before our "significant others". But the whole thing sort of dropped from the sky towards the end there and it didn't seem to fit into the whole theme of the entire talk. So the whole love for God thing was overshadowed by the million times that they told us not to get a boyfriend. Not to fall in love. And you know what, that's stupid. Because (and I am admitting here that I acknowledge how our love for God should come first - or if you don't believe in God, I guess you just shouldn't love someone until they become your everything) we're sixteen. Well, some of us, anyways. And as much as I acknowledge that whole love for God thing, I also acknowledge something that we all have: hormones!

Hormones, hormones, hormones! So it's stupid, the whole thing, to absolutely neglect to even entertain the idea that we're all perfectly aware of what we're doing, and what we are perfectly aware of is how to treat our bodies. Because they make it out to be something that is so special and that you can't get back and yes, that's true, but in other countries, they're giving demonstrations on how to put on condoms. So it's sweet that they want to pretend like we're all in that Papa novel; it's sweet that they want to keep looking at us as if we have no clue what we're doing, but the fact of the matter is that this is why people throw out babies on the street. This is our sex education. Our sex education simply consists of: do not get boyfriends.

And we all know how reverse psychology works, right? Kidding, I'm not going there. I'm not actually thinking that as students we should go against everything said today at the talk. I'm just saying that most of it was crap and to the people who took it seriously, seriously? There was a moment there, somewhere in the middle, in which I thought, this is why our country is in the state that it's in. First, because of the extreme sugarcoating (as if teens these days don't participate in sexual activities - I mean, I don't, but some days, I'm not sure whether I'm the majority or the minority here). And second, because I'm pretty sure, in other countries, their main worry is date rape drugs.

Not weirdo eye-fuck magic. I mean, not saying anything against black magic - oh, wait. Crap, what am I saying? I mean, black magic is stupid. I don't know why anyone would want to fraternize with ghosts and demons just to be pretty or rich or whatever. Want to be pretty, there are plastic surgeons. Want to be rich, be a bank robber, you know? So many other choices, all of them I would place way higher above resorting to... the supernatural. I hope that before I die, this whole belief, or rather reliance, on supernatural stuff gets stamped out. Not completely, I guess, because that's impossible, but at least enough so that school students won't be taught to be wary of it. Remember guys, keep an eye out on date rape drugs. Not eye magicians.

If I ran that shindig, I would also give more credit where credit is due. Teens are stupid, yes, but for the most part, if you watch enough 90210 or Gossip Girl, you'll understand how the birds and the bees work. And how dangerous the bees' stingers are. People say, oh, don't watch that show, it's a bad show (bad as in a bad influence. Not as in Glee). People say, if you watch too much TV, you'll start to think as if you're in a TV show yourself. But what's so bad about that exactly? My drama levels are through the roof but whenever I talk to someone, I always try to see things from each and every angle I can possibly think of and come up with worst and best case scenarios. Also not saying that all of us are bright rays of sunshine. Hormones -  while acceptable and are just part of everyday life - cloud perception and while, true, who can blame you, really, it's also our own responsibilities to take care of not just our bodies, but our self-respect and dignity as well. Because it doesn't matter if you've given your all away (well, it does matter, but once it's done, it's done, and there's no point in crying over spilt milk) as long as you have your self-respect intact. And there's no point in having dignity (or putting up a dignified facade) if you feel like you have no control over your body.

I am the world's number one expert on these things. Please take everything I said for granted.

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