The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Monday, January 16, 2012

In Which I'm Better than 92%

So maybe you've all guessed before my writing this but today was PMD for the form fours. But preceding that was Monday Assembly, of course, and ever since last week's "tirade by the tyrant", I've decided to tie my hair up every Monday and Friday. I forgot to bring my watch today (actually, nope, it was just in my bag - didn't realize it was in there), and man, is this getting tedious. If I wanted to list down every single thing I did or forgot to bring to school today, might as well write it all down in a list, right? But I'm not going to do that because I've started writing in paragraphs, and the post before the last, the Zoo trip one, was written in a list, so let's keep things fresh, shall we?

And that's just one paragraph and I'm already feeling like giving all this up. During PMD, I mostly hung out with Nisa and next to Nadiah and the reason I said that is because Nadiah was talking to a bunch of other people and I basically used her as a pillow and leaning post. Nisa and I just talked and we barely paid attention to those guys (but enough attention for me to form my own conclusions regarding the subject matter) but some people were super serious. Fatihah had a notebook and she was jotting everything down! That was probably the highlight of my day; also maybe when Hanna (that other one - the one with the short hair that she suspiciously gets to get away with while my hair gets rejected by The Tyrant) said "kenapa cakap banyak?" Those were the bright spots of sunshine in an otherwise mildly cloudy day.

It was fun getting to go for recess properly. It feels like it's been ages, even though it's only been eight days, give or take (I remember taking a day off and asking Le Dya to replace me sometime last week). I'm not a big fan of recess though so the excitement at getting to do something - namely, enjoy recess with the commoners - was shortlived. After recess, we continued with the whole... well, whatever that talk thing was, and it was just as blah as pre-recess, the only difference being that Hanna hung out with us this time around and I paid even less attention, if such a thing were possible. I know what you're thinking: why don't you ever practice what you preach and pay attention when people are giving a speech or whatever? Well, like I said in the previous post and like I have no problem expressing in this post, I wasn't really keen on what they had to say. So for the most part, I ignored them.

After school was kind of crap because I was in a bad mood from the whole English class placement thing (don't ask - maybe I'll talk about it once it's properly settled in my brain) and that coupled with the fact that I was to go home at six, made for one very emo me. I had nice homemade meatballs, though, so that was probably... the only good part of after school. YE wasn't bad. It wasn't good either because I think everytime I look at the turnout, I want to cry. I made secretary, which is awesome and all, and I also volunteered to be that ICT person who handles the blog (with Jen handling the pictures) and also, AJK Board, I guess. So that's a lot of work, I think, but I honestly like YE and I hope that everyone who comes on board this year will come to love it as I have. It's an ongoing process.

And what followed was something of two hours of me complaining about the woes of my life to people and Hanna and I had a discussion which prompted me to come up with the very probable statistic that I am the eight percent best. I guess this is why God put me on track to watch Lizzie McGuire yesterday. It was fun and all (and I learned so much -  I mean, I watched that when I was younger and all but now that I'm older and I actually "get it", man, is Lizzie McGuire just the best. I mean, isn't it just?) but I've got to learn my lesson from that episode when Gordo thought his Science teacher was hating on him and he swapped Science projects wtih Lizzie. Just take a step back from the situation, remove myself from the equation and calm down. It's not the end of the world. Worst case scenario is ending up with my brains blown up all over the place (kudos if you get it!).

Blue practice was normal. I'm proud that I at least tried to run and I didn't end up falling behind too far. Well, you can't have it all, obviously (flips hair). I went home after that. No mood for anything else. I just flopped down on the bed and it took me ages to figure out what day it was - the Golden Globes!

I'm watching it right now and to be honest, I don't really care. Last year was kind of a bad year for movies after the epic awesome that was 2010. I'm hoping things look up this year. I'm glad that Midnight in Paris was nominated for four things and won one (I think?). I'll write more about this tomorrow, perhaps. Did Steve Buscemi not win? I don't think he did. In that case, I couldn't care less.

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