The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Monday, January 30, 2012


In the previous post, I was talking about how, even though I hate it and all, I would never openly mock the school. My school. Well, maybe this is going back on that, but really, this isn't openly mocking, really. It's more like criticism, which borders a bit on mocking and/or bashing in some parts. It gets bad, but then again, if you're all preaching that it gets better, I'm sure my critique of the school (and in the grand scheme of things, its students) won't hinder you much on your path to 'getting better'.

Sri Aman as a High Performance School
My thoughts on the matter, as a student, not at all objectively, completely based on real life experiences, and I don't much give a crap if 'writing a bitchy blog post about your school' would look bad on my transcript.

Start off with the good, here's why I think Sri Aman deserves to be a High Performance School:

1. The students can get shit done. I'm not saying that this isn't the case for most public or day schools even, but I really think that when it comes to organizing events or orchestrating a function (basically two same things but I just changed the words to make this sentence longer), we do get shit done and done well. Well, our sound system's for the dogs, but I'll get back to this later and it doesn't much matter, really, but other than that? I think that as far as independence goes, the school teaches the students to be that and maybe a little bit of something more on the side, but let's not get mushy.

2. The students know how to have fun. Well, most of them, anyways.

3. The students are really cooperative when there's an event. Not cooperative towards the prefects, just cooperative in general. There's this term for it, but I hate the word: it's called 'sporting' and I'm sure I'm not excessively tooting horns here when I say that that's exactly what Sri Amanians are. Except for the rare few, like me, who thinks it's ridiculous to get excited over a photography session at a Ridsect's convention, but only an express few.

4. We are, overall, not bad. This is what I tell myself most days. Obviously, when there's a trip/homestay programme/immersion programme going on and they have a profile of schools from other countries shown on slideshows, of course I get jelly with envy. But for a Malaysian school? We are not bad. And for a High Performance School? Well, let's just say that 'not bad' is not exactly the compliment they're looking for.

And off with the bad, here's why I think Sri Aman completely, utterly, unarguably and irrevocably sucks:

1. Where to start? Attitude. First class school, seventh class mentality. I've already talked about the discipline, about how they just can't figure out how to sit down during Monday morning assemblies even though it's not like we change the Assembly procedure every stinking week, you still sit in the same stinking place; I've talked about it so many times, I think I'm tired of talking about it now. But as with mostly everyone in Malaysia, we really aren't all that concerned about cleanliness, myself included. Honestly, the canteen in disgusting. The basin in which we're supposed to place all our cups and plates after using them looks like something a Fear Factor contestant should try to stomach. I would suggest conveyor belts for us to put those stuff on but I have a feeling it's the mindset that needs to change, not the technology. Plus, they'd only find ways to fuck that up as well.

2. The inability to follow through with stuff. There's been tons of events or whatever that's been talked up and hyped, but most of them don't last more than a couple of weeks. At most. It's sad, really, our attention span.

3. The lack of qualified teachers. This may be touching on a sore subject here but I really don't understand why some teachers are even allowed to teach. They don't know the meaning of it, these specified few. They don't know the meaning of the word 'teach'. And probably a hell of a lot of other words as well.

4. For a school boasting about its usage of information technology and other computer stuff, our school website sucks. For one thing, it was never updated during the holidays. Or like mostly everything before the holidays even. And I'm not trying to anger the site's admins or anything because I have no clue who they are and for all I know they could be dangerous or... the Headmistress or something, but whatever layout that is, I call it ugly. In relation to this, whatever interactive classroom learning we're supposed to have with the aid of computers, it's basically useless. Teachers just ask us to do PowerPoint presentations and it's the equivalent of doing a presentation on mahjong paper. So I don't know what we're actually boasting about. I mean, for all I know, other schools are so backwards and stuck in the stone ages that they write on clay or papyrus or something but if what we're doing now is considered progressive, then I shudder to think of what else is out there.

5. Sound system is embarrassing. I've yet to go to another school and have music cut off in the middle of a performance. That happens at Sri Aman, and in my short four years of being there, it's happened more than I've been able to count.

Now, that was a shorter list than you expected, right? Mostly because my main problem with the school is number one. It's not that hard to start thinking about image, it's not that hard to do what you're supposed to do. I've mentioned countless times how much I hate the fact that they've started playing music in the canteen because when I think of school, I mainly think of prison. It's a prison, and I have to pay my five year sentence, and the music gets kind of too happy happy for a prison-like environment. That's the easiest way to view it, though, school as a fortress of torture. Because that's what it is and I've accepted that. I guess those people, who look like they own it all, I guess they like school, like truly and actually, and that's why life goes on easier for them. It's not like I haven't tried, it's just that it's never been successful or anything.

I'm not at all saying that those faults (and kudos) belong specifically to Sri Aman, and Sri Aman only. They're pretty common, actually. We actually do live in Malaysia, so certain things are to be expected. If I changed schools or anything, it's not going to get any better, and it definitely isn't going to be any different, not in a groundbreaking way. Of course, there are international schools or certain private schools, which have different atmospheres entirely. But then there are different problems to face, like snobbishness, or vapidity. Sri Amanians aren't vapid or snobby, they're just shallow and for the most part, crass.

I've said all that I can think of to write. At this stage of my life, I no longer care for apologizing.

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