The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Saturday, December 3, 2011


There's so many people in the world who can draw such beautiful stuff, it makes me cry. I also cried the other day when I watched Peter Pan and they were all like, "I do believe in fairies," and I was full out sobbing on the rocking chair, clutching a pillow and occasionally wiping my tears away with the corner of said pillow. Surprisingly, other than these two insulated incidents, I have not been crying all that much, nor have I gotten particularly teary eyed at random things, as I am generally wont to do. So maybe to pile the blame on hormones would be a tad unfair of me. Or maybe it's not and it's all those wretched hormones' fault.

I have compiled a list of things I want because of reasons.
  1. An Asus Transformer, which I have worked tooth and nail to get, so I better have it by the end of the year.
  2. To watch Wicked with my sister in Singapore. I know it's not, well, it's not going to be Wicked Wicked, but I'll take whatever scraps I have scavenged for and can get, thank you very much. Slight complications on how I am to actually get to Singapore, but with the right amount of begging and brown nosing on my part (isn't that always the tale), it'll hopefully be resolved quick as a flash.
  3. A gray British shorthair cat because they seem to represent my soul and inner spirit animal. Sadly I'm never going to get one with Fluffy still alive because my Dad has a strict one cat only rule which my mother and I have bypassed so many times but we always, always had to learn, at the end of the day, that we really are incapable of taking care of two cats. Heck, I am incapable of taking care of one cat. Plus, cat food is very expensive and we are feeding a family of now seven individuals (plus our maid, which makes it eight).
  4. This isn't like a thing or anything like that. I mean, it's not an object that can be bought or even a ticket to an event. It's just that I'm really hoping to be able to finish my list of things to do in the holidays before the holidays actually end and I know that the probability of my finishing it off completely is slim to none because I haven't been all that keen to rewatch Doctor Who ever since my computer decided to restart itself every few hours.
  5. To register for Pottercon which takes money which I happen to have but I'd rather my parents pay for it so it's a birthday present, hopefully.
  6. One of those Harry Potter box set things with all eight of the movies because seriously, I need to get in touch with my inner Potterhead. My friends, who have been in fandom for such a short time, are making me look bad.
  7. This shirt. Or this shirt, I've always wanted this shirt, too. 
  8. A new pencil box and that wallet I saw at that shop I went into once (unrelated things).
See. It's not much. I didn't even mention improbable things like going to Wizarding World (of which there will now be two) or meet Chris Colfer or J.K. Rowling or anything out there like that. Now, here's a few pictures of British shorthair cats.

They very clearly bear a resemblance to me.
Very, very clearly.
It's uncanny.
My day started at 6.45 today, despite ending at three something in the morning, so excuse anything odd or un-me in this post because that's just the semi-insomnia talking. I get that the layout is girly beyond anything I've ever girled up for this blog before, but bear with me. I'm going through some emotional times, and I would like to give credit where credit is due and exactly where that credit is due would happen to be my uterus. 

We're reading Haunted for book club. I've read it before, borrowed from a friend of a friend (of a friend, perhaps?). So I'm contemplating whether I should just suck it (and by it, I meant the money) or buy a copy or just read something very easily downloadable from 4shared (Torrent is busy with some movies). It's a devastating decision, really. Sophie's choice. But I have to say, Ellie did say something about a glow in the dark cover and if I get my hands on one of those, then I would consider the decision already made for me by the universe.

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