The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Burning of Bridges

And it all comes down to this.

No, but on the real, though, I'm happier than I've ever been in the past few weeks. Maybe it's because I finally, you know, talked it out, worked it out with myself and it's not the sense of closure I was expecting, nor was it, like, a solid conclusion. Oh, well, can't really blame anyone. I chose to do everything I did and I don't think, for now at least, that there's any regrets. Both this year and last year.

So the school year's coming to an end and I have one more big, big day ahead of me before I can say for certain that I am done with Form 3. I honestly don't think it was a long year, neither was it blink and it's over. Maybe because I'm not exactly looking at things in hindsight yet.

I am honestly excited for next year. I know I said I'll try this year and I know I said 'the best or nothing', but I learned a lot about what it meant, for me, at least, to be the best.

Today was a quaint and lovely day. It was blink and it's over (literally). Mostly hung around Xueh Wei and we walked around the school compound, going to the toilet twice and meeting interesting people along the way. And then after two rounds of Monopoly Deal with Divyia, Meetra and Nisha, I went to sleep and the next thing I knew, I was being woken up by Xueh Wei, who said it was another two minutes until the 2 o'clock bell. Hanna was missing in action today because she (and a bunch of other people) were participating in this creative writing workshop, which I wanted to go for as well but decided against in the end because I am in no mood to be told how to write.

Divya and I continued our running joke with the waffles. I have absolutely nothing more to add to this because Google Chrome just crashed and half of what I've written for this post has been erased.

I'm happy, I'm okay and I will be okay. All right, I think that about sums it up.

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