The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Take Care of Yourself

Written on Tuesday
Thank you for asking me that. I really hope that if Kurt and Blaine do anything for society or the world or anything like that, I really just hope it kind of sets the standard for gay kids. I don’t mean to upset anyone by saying this, but it is just kind of a known fact that a lot of gay kids are very promiscuous and non-exclusive with each other when they have relationships, which is really sad. But I think with Kurt and Blaine, I would hope would set an example of what something should be and could be. You know, two people finding each other and really loving each other and wanting to give the world to each other. -Chris.
1. I think for Chris to raise the issue in the first place was a good thing because clearly (as proven by the majority of the Tumblrs I follow) we all had something to gain from hearing it said.

2. The fact that Chris has that mentality in the first place is, to me, excusable because of his background.

3. I'm not on the fence about this. I didn't like that he said that and I do not particularly agree with people who use context as an argument. Personally - from what I believe - I would not have said that because it is, at face value, sex-shaming, as he said it without taking into consideration the intent behind the actions of the people committing said actions.

4. In conclusion, Chris came off as uninformed but to reiterate, if he has a skewed perception on the matter, it is only because of the things (and people) he was and is surrounded by and at the end of the day, I actually have to thank him for bringing this up because it has been a learning experience for all of us, myself included.

5. Having Klaine show not only a positive but also a monogamous (I have yet to see the episode, though, so that's worth bearing in mind) gay relationship is awesome. It's not as groundbreaking as people make it out to be, but the fact that they still went for it, despite Glee's myriad flaws, is commendable (and, of course, awesome).

6. I am happy that my boy is getting some.

These are the kinds of things people never really learn at school, not really, and it always makes me want to giggle every time I think about how I'm learning all of these things through fandom. Fandom does wonderful things to a person. It literally changes you, in a way real life can't, maybe not in spite of it taking place in a bubble somewhat separated from everyday life but because it takes place in a bubble somewhat separated from everyday life. These are the kinds of things people at school, my school and just, beyond, should be learning: critical thinking and debate skills and somewhere along the way, maybe humanity and maturity as well.

Written on Wednesday

Today, there were a lot of things going on, of which the least important should technically be the many, many prayer circles I had from morning stretching on until after recess. But since this is my life and my sense of priority is skewed, that's what I'd like to take away from today. It started with me telling Pri and Violet what was going to go down, and then Violet said "ew" (and she really, really shouldn't be allowed to speak before 7 in the morning, but then again, that is hypocrisy at its finest. I shouldn't be let near human beings before 7 in the morning) so I convinced (read: forced and dragged) Hanna into forming a prayer circle that Violet would die. It was all in jest, I think. At least, while huddled up with Hanna, I didn't really mention anything about wanting Violet to die. At the very least, my explanation of "everyone dies" would have to suffice. (By the way, please don't take me seriously.)

And then I rounded up a group of even more people right before Glee was scheduled to start airing in America for a prayer circle to pray that Kurt has a good first time (I also might have mentioned that they should pray for Kurt to top. And Blaine to bottom, just to be absolutely sure). After that it just sort of spiraled into madness. We were apparently all in a very prayer circle mood so we prayed for camp to be cancelled, (or if that fails) for us to stay safe and not die at camp, and finally, some time after recess, Divya and I either got bored or crazy so we prayed for Kurt and Blaine to have waffles after they did it. 


Written a little later on

It was sweet. I mean, I still hate Blaine. That episode did nothing to endear me to him one bit but on the bright side, it didn't exactly make me hate him more. So that in itself is sad. Another thing that's sad is the fact that I've emotionally detached myself from Kurt so much these past few months (because I don't really want to share in his pain, he has so much. I've got my own things to deal with and I just can't deal with his things as well.) that I didn't even feel anything watching it. Not anger at how once again it was Kurt who had to chase after Blaine who's being propositioned by some random guy, not happiness at whatever level of intimacy they've reached, and not offense at... everything in between. So once again, yay for those who are happy with it. I've got other shows to watch and a Nanowrimo story to finish up.

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