It's one a.m., I am bored and angry and in the mood to feel a sliver of power from any source right now, any source whatsoever, so I'm going to use this blog to feel powerful and entitled and... fuck, it's one a.m.
one. Blaine Anderson (will be choosing from the pool of characters pictured above, because it would be stupid and pointless to answer something like Will because I don't think anyone but Emma likes Will)
two. Out of all the episodes in Season 2, I think the most painful to watch would have to be Sexy, The Rocky Horror Glee Show and Prom Queen. Oh, and New York, of course, but I've already forgotten about that until, like, a few seconds ago.
three. I honestly like them all. Like, they are all fabulous. But since the question asked for my least favorite, I'd probably go with (at the moment) Heather. I don't hate Heather. I just enjoy her (out of all the other cast members) the least.
four. Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me was pretty gross (breaking my own rules by answering with a Will song) and I hated Fix You because of a) the fact that I've wanted them to do this song since the beginning of Gleedom and they gave it to Will to sing, and b) that grimace Kurt gave when Blaine him hugged when the casting list was put up. Also, It's Not Unusual was pretty bad by Darren's standards.
five. All of them. Especially the new ones. I expected all of this kind of shit from RIB, and I had some wild hope that the new writers would somehow set RIB back to the path of righteousness and good television writing. All hopes were dashed in I Am Unicorn.
six. Well... I'd say out of all the... twelve characters up there, I'd say that Rachel's the only one I've never thought about wanting to get it on with, so I'd say Rachel Berry. I would give anything (an arm, a leg, my soul) to get it on with Lea, though, but I can't stand Rachel most of the time.
seven. Refer to number two but I guess The Rocky Horror Glee Show wasn't bad enough that it warrants me wanting to erase it forevermore. It was just horrible from my perspective and objectively, it definitely wasn't Glee's downfall. Sexy, as well. So I'd go with Prom Queen.
eight. Blaine Anderson. (Like, seriously. Be gone.)
nine. Um. At this particular moment? Brittana. But that's not going to happen. Maybe in the future, probably not. They're taking Finchel, Klaine and Brittana all the way to college, y'all. Fucking unrealistic. I don't really want Klaine to sink because then Kurt will be sad and he's had enough sads to last several lifetimes. Brittany and Santana don't deserve each other. They would make a sweet couple, sure, but they are both such horrible people. Whatever they're planning for Santana in I Kissed A Girl's not going to endear me to her one bit.
ten. Blaine. And Sugar.
eleven. Kurt, to end his misery and so I can just stop watching this show. Poor Burt, though. Luckily for me, I don't really have that much of an attachment to canon Burt Hummel.
twelve. Out of the twelve up there, I'd guess... well, Finn's going to go off, because even though I see nothing special in him whatsoever, they're damned to make him into this Troy Bolton-esque dude (but headcanon for me says he stays and runs Hummel shop); Rachel and Kurt are New York bound; Blaine's parents seem to be the type to let him do whatever he wants to do and passive (aggressively) support him financially, so he'll get out of there (he probably doesn't even live in Lima, or didn't, in the first place); Mike and Brittany are very good dancers and it'd probably take Brittany a while, but she could go somewhere and she should go somewhere, somewhere big (and headcanon says she marries a nice guy because bisexuality does exist); Mercedes will try to be the big star (read: diva) she's always wanted to be so she'll make it out but she might return; Santana's out; headcanon says Artie heads off to somewhere like Silicon Valley or something; Puck is going to leave because everyone's pegging him to be this Lima Loser and he's just... he can be a little bit more than that sometimes; and Quinn will be institutionalized, so if Lima has one of those, she's staying. So that's... Finn, Quinn (if they have mental institutes in Lima or somewhere around, but since she'll be institutionalized, I'll consider her a Lima Loser even if the place she gets sent to is outside of Ohio), and Tina, because I forgot to mention her and Tike isn't going to last, and she seems like such a motherly, family-loving type and she'll start up a family, or maybe if Tartie's endgame, then she'd follow him on his grand takeover of the tech world. tldr; this is my headcanon for their future, in case you haven't realized.
thirteen. Huh. Well, Finn sometimes. Rachel most of the time. But mostly Blaine, I guess.
fourteen. Artie. I think out of all of them, he's the one I think I'd have absolutely nothing to say to and then things would just get awkward and he might try to rap at me. So.
It's a testament to how pissed off I am that every time I so much as see someone mentions The First Time, I can literally feel the smile being wiped off my face. I am very pissed off. It's been going on for a few weeks. Well, since Asian F, quite possibly Purple Piano Project, and I'm bored of feeling Rage all the time. I can't even enjoy much of anything, other than fanfiction, and even then I cry, because if these people who take fanfiction as something that's completely not serious, who have other jobs and obligations and who don't get paid for the drivel they ramble on about, if they could make Glee into a show that sounds like it could be Emmy worthy, why can't the writers do that, considering they get paid for it and it's, oh, I don't know, their jobs?
I wrote a breakup letter to Glee like, a month ago, after finding out that Blaine was a junior. Because now I can no longer look at fanfiction as something that exists alongside canon, as a supplement to the weekly dose of Glee and as something that could possibly have existed in the minds of RIB, or as unaired scenes. Because I didn't realize until then that what I enjoyed most wasn't the show itself, but the fanfiction that I get to read after watching, before watching, in anticipation of watching. I deleted the letter after I Am Unicorn. It was bad but it held my attention in a gut-wrenching way and I thought, "OK, one more week."
And then the video for Girls (Run the World) came out. And behind it this absolutely bullshit plotline of feminism and female empowerment which existed alongside Kurt's fuck-up of a storyline, it was so much secondhand embarrassment, having to endure that. I felt Rage as well. I mean, I haven't been very vocal about my stance on feminism because with the people that I surround myself with, things have been pretty good on my end. And the country's number one concern is definitely not discrimination against women. Hell, no, we've got a crapload of other things on top of that. But getting back to what I was about to say, which is that I've got too much time on my hands and I spend it reading the blogs and zines written by honest to God Feminists with a capital F and what they've been saying has undoubtedly rubbed off on me and I can't help but start to develop a migraine every time I think about Brittany's song and dance number.
Brittany's the punchline. She's the joke. She's the dumb girl who says really stupid crap and everybody just lets it slide or makes a face because it's Brittany. She thinks her cat's been reading her diary and smoking, she believes she's been abducted, she drinks too much cold medicine and can't get out of her chair, she pulled her hamstring and had to see a misogynist, (I can't attest to any of this, really, because I plucked them out from memory so if I got any of them wrong, sorry, but there are far, far weirder things she has said on the show) and really. Really? Feminism should be a topic Glee treats with the utmost respect, after their portrayal of certain female characters. Brittany of all people shouldn't be handling this. And call it self-righteous anger at Kurt getting totally blown off the election list if you'd like, but you've got one crappy and borderline controversial storyline baking (Kurt's) (and what an epic fail of a storyline it was), it was definitely not the time for another crappy and serious storyline handled in a misogynistic way.
This is all old news, though, I'll admit to that. My fanfiction epiphany, the Brittany rage. What's new? What was the final straw that broke the camel's back and fucking killed it? Eh, I don't know. Now's probably when I start to sound like a butt-hurt fan (because now that onscreen Klaine makes me want to barf, I've taken on a slight... obsession with Kum) (again, might I add. Again, because I was a Kummer once. Like, Audition until Never Been Kissed. Woes.) I guess Rory is more annoying than I thought he would be, especially since he's singing a bunch of songs that should have gone to Kurt (not saying Kurt should sing... that song that Rory sings, just that he should get more songs. You know, because he only got a verse in YCSTB that didn't make it on the show, a duet with Rachel, I Am the Greatest Star and "Effie, I'm tiyaaahd", while Blaine gets... two solos so far and an upcoming number). I mean, I guess I sort of forgot that these Glee Project people are going to be dropping by after... oh, my God, I forgot her name. To be honest and I am so mad at myself, I forgot Rory's real name as well. It starts with a D?
Other things that piss me off! The whole Sebastian going after Blaine thing (because let's face it: guys lining up around the block to woo Darren Criss, I'd believe. Guys lining up around the block to woo Blaine... not so much), You and I (sorry, no accents) being such by Will and Shelby, the only other song Kurt's going to be singing from 3x04 until 3x07 is rumored to be a duet with Blaine (who, by that time, would already have 3 full solos under his belt and, like, two duets or something), and the Christmas album. Reindeer's balls, the fucking Christmas album.
Anyways, I don't know if this is a breakup letter or not. I'm still reading fanfiction. I have this obligation to because I've gotten to know some really wonderful authors and there are some WIPs I wouldn't miss out on for the world. Santana's right, though: it is the Blaine and Rachel show, and I liked it back when it was the Rachel show but... Blaine just got there and... c'mon. At any rate, when I was watching Asian F, I just skipped a bunch of parts and when it was a Kurt scene, I just spent all of my time objectifying Chris. I was thinking that I'd just watch the Kurt parts of the show but then I realized that the Kurt parts were going to involve Blaine more than fifty percent of the time and then I started crying like an ugly duck.
I can't wait for Brittany to be class president, though! No more oil spills, imagine that!