The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

i stand and strain to make ends meet

I don't know I just feel so dumb. And you know what this exam's making me think twice about people who get excited when they say they got 8/7As because honestly it relies too much on luck. Sometimes you just get too rushed and totally miss the point of a question. Sometimes something you've studied super hard and am totally pro at doesn't even come out. Sometimes you put your pencil down to eeny meeny miny moe and get lucky.

I mean I'm not saying that they didn't put in the hard work. But I put in the hard work and I'm still sorely disappointed. Some people put in the hard work and they're satisfied. Some people don't do crap and they do so well.

So instead of crying, I think I'm just going to work on my new goal.

My new goal in life is to lock myself up in my room with Internet connection and stan Chris Colfer by day and sing a long to show tunes all night.

If this is how life's going to be like from now on, if this is the Malaysian education system, then I don't see the point in studying. I don't see the point in working or "contributing to society". I don't see the point in money.

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