The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

he's coming for you yeah he's coming for you

i'm scared but at the same time i don't want to be because being scared would just be as good as admitting to myself that there's a slight possibility that i might get less than 8a's and i don't, can't do that. so i get scared about other things but now i'm just so mad because i can't let my focus waiver. i really have got to give this my undivided attention and but i just can't.

on an unrelated note, i'm also scared that i don't know how to be happy without you anymore. i mean what if you just upped and left. what then.

then that would be the end of me.

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