The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

the slight of my hand is now a quick pull trigger

I'm not getting this.

And it frustrates me. There are some things that I don't understand, that I probably will never understand. Some questions I need the answers to because I am currently misguided in my beliefs or living in complete and utter ignorance but I'm afraid to ask those questions because they're not the norm, they're unacceptable. I can't ask my parents at all especially because there are tons of things I know I can talk to them about: friends, frustrations, guys. But not this. They raised me expecting me to know better but I don't. I'd go as far as to say that I know worse actually.

I'm just not sure anymore because what one person calls preservation, another calls it lame. What one person calls progress, another person calls treason. And so on, so forth.

And it teeters on an uncomfortable precipice, modernity and religion, one that I haven't quite gotten the balance of yet and um I'm sad.

The end.

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