The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Monday, August 22, 2011

A Brief Reprieve From The D

Since I have an hour and a half to kill, why not write something? I have been on my ass all day studying, alternating between various positions around the house, and from what I gather, nothing has quite penetrated the big ol' gray matter yet. So... here's to hoping that by some serious stroke of luck and with a bucketful of gratitude towards God, I'll wrangle an A. Somehow. 

Well, this has been optimistic. No, but, really, it's all right. I'm all right. I haven't been having that big of a meltdown. The worst was probably staunched when I went to see Glee... well, I can never get these movie titles right. After you've seen one 3D Concert Movie, you've seen them all, right? And for some reason, the names never seem to just stay put. Anyways, back to the movie. Not enough Chris to entertain me and spiritually fulfill me but just enough of him (and glimpses of Naya's underwear and Titus's pelvis dance thrust thingy during one of the Warbler numbers) to make me smile. Or maybe too much of him and his perfectness during I Wanna Hold Your Hand and Happy Days, it made me cry.

Friday made me cry. But we won't go into that. People make me want to cry. Again, not touching that. The sheer absurdity of school makes me want to cry. Particularly regarding History and English. And I'm sure History's like this for most countries as well but I've, well, never understood why you needed to bring motive into these things. 

I get memorizing dates and places but... the whys are sort of confusing me. Did the text book writers actually confronted the Japanese or the Communists and went, "So... why'd you do that?" It's confusing and frustrating because I doubt they did and all these historians think they know what's up but for all we know, what's up could just be that these guys were bored one Monday and decided that conquering the Southeast Asian region would be the only thing they could do that wouldn't cost too much money and effort. They basically handed us the Form 2 textbook to tell us that, hey, here, have a look at what our past leaders did to this country! Aren't they just the freaking best? And then at the end of the book, they add in all these things about heroes to make us actually feel proud when the most prominent things contained in the book were the obvious and blatant inabilities of our past sultans. Great. And I'm expected to be happy to learn all of this. They say that history repeats itself lest we learn from our mistakes but I'm sorry. Those really aren't my mistakes and the only thing I've learned is from the entire syllabus is trust no bitch.

And English. Who is your favorite character? Well, my favorite character in The Phantom is La Carlotta because she's the only person in that fifty-paged "book" who wasn't a complete coward or douchebag and when the Phantom told her she couldn't sing, she was like, fuck I'll do whatever I want. I'm La freaking Carlotta. It was a tragedy what happened afterwards but the point I'm getting to here is that if I had put that in, she would have given me a 2 or something because apparently literature component questions have answer schemes. God. Whatever. 

Me: I'm going to watch Glee Live tomorrow!
Some person I can't remember: What? Is it out then? 

Which begs the question: If it wasn't out, then what was I supposed to be watching?

Nisa: We should have a FRIENDS marathon after PMR. 
Me: Yeah, we should. 
Nisa: We could do it at my house. 
Me: In Cyber? 
Nisa: Yeah.
Me: Do you have FRIENDS? 
Nisa: Well, there's this one girl, my neighbor... 
Me: Nisa.
Me: Do you have the box set? 

Hmm, I can smell it already, the taste of freedom after PMR! (Well, not total freedom. Just free from pressure for a while.) And it smells like... teen spirit!

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