The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Interlude 39

"Is it me?" 

Yes, it's you. What that was about, I don't even remember anymore but for what it's worth, it was you. Now, I'm a pretty judgmental person, I'll judge, you know that. However, you make me feel nice. About myself, about the world in general, whatever. But nice. And I won't... hate you for the person you are, regardless of the fact that there is tons to hate. Don't worry. I'll still be here at the end of the day, patiently waiting, like a dog that has nothing better to do with its time. 

Mood swings, right, honey? I don't really know what it is anymore. Like, what, tension? Of the, well, sexual kind? I find that hilarious, actually, but I'm grasping at straws here. You can see how much I'm just desperate for any explanation at all as to why when pitted against each other, we're prone to become so volatile in the other's presence that it makes me... hate you. Even though I don't want to. Even though I never want to. In a million years, no.

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