The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Saturday, July 2, 2011


I am furiously and frustratingly sorry that I forgot what the end of June meant. It really sucks to be so busy, I don't even have time to remember a very important occasion. No, it's not anyone's birthday (although it is Violet's birthday today) and it's not something that's supposed to matter to everyone else, but...

It's the blog's third birthday! We're three years old! And I am so tired and tired of being tired and I don't know when exactly I'll have some room to take a breather (probably never) so all these halfhearted exclamation points are lies! Point blank lies! I am in no way, shape or form excited or enthused, I just want to go to bed!

This is all one big cruel joke because I don't even get anything out of all of this. I don't really get why we have to work to get stuff done. I mean, why couldn't we pay in hugs instead of money? Why can't we all just chill around doing nothing. We don't really need to develop the world. We could just stay put, backwards as it would be, and live a calm, chilled life with no population in sight to threaten the existence of any species of animals and the human race and the planet Earth. Like, really. I know shit has to get done now because that's the way it's always been done, but what if there had never been trading or bartering? What if economy was never a thing? What if we remained uncivilized forever and, yeah, sure, no Internet and most probably no books, but with the rate things are going right now, a.k.a. twelve different things jam packed into my daily schedule, and no end in sight, is it really a nuisance for me to wish that there was never a race in the first place?

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