The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Jealousy

Maybe the problem here is that I care about caring too much.

Anyways, nothing big today. Started off the day on a low (don't worry - it gets worse) and then it just progressively got worse from there on out. BM was great as in I finished my work. History, however, should be changed to Philosophy. She yaps on for half an hour and expects us to finish our work with barely five minutes to spare. She's gone off the deep end, that one. Fruitbats with extra cases of the fruits and the bats. 

Recess was mediocre but less tiring than yesterday. I wouldn't call what we played during PE football but on the bright side, I got a chance to kick the ball! Mostly, I stayed put chatting it up with Marina and Cassandra, though. It really was no use chasing a ball up field, down field and back again. Then we played this game involving tennis balls. And then the classroom started to smell really bad when we got back to change. Win some, lose some, that sorta thing. 

Maths was surprisingly great considering it was surprisingly easy and I won't have to endure it tomorrow. KH was also all right because we did accounts and while I was blur and in Kurt land half the time, some things actually made sense. And then I went home and my mother picked me up a couple minutes late and I got irked, as I do, and then it just plummeted, spirits-wise, from there. 

Blue practice wasn't bad, wasn't good. Izarra was happy with our progress and with some practice, I'll be happy with mine as well. Stupid legs/hands co-ordination's just not what it used to be anymore. Mother picked me up a half hour late. My iPod was wiped fresh. No music, playlists, videos, nothing. And I'm the sort of dumbass who has an empty iTunes. I'll just see what I can do and put in some of the music from my Zen. Stupid fucking iPod.

I think that's the only thing that's bothering me, honestly. I mean, everything aside, all's great. Tomorrow's that YE thing, whatever that is, and I get to skip school, get a certificate, free food, all those things. Ace stuff. Joining this club kind of put me in a slump earlier on but now I am totally hot for it. 

Hm. Pretty much I figured out why I'm so angry around, well, I'd really rather not say. It's just because I'm jealous. Whatever. I'll get over it?

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