The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

but that don't mean your loving days are through

you think hunger hurts? no, it doesn't hurt as much as this. as much as feeling like there's something wrong with everything and you can feel your heart literally hurting and it's so so painful. and the worst thing is that it just feels hollow, your chest cavity, it just feels empty. and i wish this wouldn't happen to me, not now, not when the exam's drawing nearer and nearer and i wish i could figure out how to climb out of this hole i've dug myself but i just can't.

too high.

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