The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Orange

That little time off from Glee didn't work out quite as well as I would have liked it to and I credit that all to Original Songs. Damn you. I was content for semi-bland episode filled with some speculations made by fans prior and more desperate Rachel, more crazy Quinn, some Sue, some Will, all of that but no. Instead it sort of took over my life a little - more than it had before - and I am currently all shades of embarrassed to admit how many times I've actually watched the episode.

But then I go on Tumblr, you see, and there's all these people being complete jackasses and it doesn't even matter whether I'm Following them or not, what matters is that these insensitive jerks actually exist in the world. For a fandom based on a show that's supposed to be sending the message that everyone's special and that everyone deserves to be treated right and that whole anti-bullying thing they've got going on this season, the fandom is the most horrible one I've ever participated in. I mean, I've seen the ugly side of fandom before, of course, back when I thought Twilight wasn't all that bad (that was before the movie, I think) and I thought it was also all right to enjoy that and Harry Potter at the same time but I guess not everyone thought so. I don't know if it's because the show itself (oh, I'm back to talking about Glee now, by the way) is so messy and terribly plotted out or if the fans are actually crazy. If it's the first, then I think RIB should stop being so willy-nilly with planning the storylines. I mean, they lurk around the fandom, right, they should know how volatile half of the fans are? Honest to God, finding a Glee fan that's happy with the show just the way it is is like finding my cat around the house on weekday afternoons (God knows where he goes off to but I can never seem to find him). So, I'm reading Harry Potter now.

I've stopped reading so many fanfics mostly because I got bored of their tedious writing styles and I haven't kept up with many of my favorite authors so I don't know what they're up to. Rightfully, since it's the beginning of the year and all of that, there should be plenty of exchange fics (and also, plenty around December) but the thing is, I just haven't been hanging around much. Wanna know something incredible, though? cts updated Reign O'er Me! This is one of those fics I had given up on, way back when, but I literally just screamed when I saw it was updated. I kind of forgot like half of the plot, but from what I can remember (and hopefully, the thing lives up to my memory of it), it was a really good fic, refreshing despite using the old 'bonding' thing (I have been out of the fandom for so long, that I can't even remember whether the term is bonding or soul bonding or soul mates or whatever it was), and it Harry had a sister named Something (very intriguing, actually, despite the fact that, y'know, I don't make it seem like it is) who later on had a little something going on with Malfoy. Not in a Malfoy repents all his sins kind of way, but in a very natural, kind of way, actually. Plus, it had lots of guns and a trip to somewhere and it was really good. Oh, but God, was it good. 

I am kind of nervous to delve into Harry Potter again. I mean, last time, everything just felt so natural, because it was basically the only thing I did with my time other than sleep, eat and watch the TV. I wonder if it'll be awkward and like I have to start over again or whether it will be like riding a bike, something I'll never forget. I just can't stand people right now. They annoy the bejeezus out of me. 

Stop and think about what you're writing for a second of your pathetic life because does it really matter that you're speaking to someone through the Internet? It doesn't, and it shouldn't, because that doesn't change the fact that you're speaking to a human being and I'd like to think, considering I am one, that we human beings deserve some form of right. We deserve to be treated with respect even from strangers. Like, you wouldn't literally just shove people out of the way so that you could get to something that you want. You wouldn't spit in a stranger's face. You wouldn't go out onto the streets and randomly tell people to die, would you? Because then, what the fuck kind of person would that make you? It doesn't matter if you say things to someone face to face or if you type them out on your precious little keyboard for all the world to see if they so choose. Having a blog doesn't make you God or something. Having an opinion doesn't make it the only valid one out there. It saddens me to see that most people can dish it out like the best of them and yet when someone turns the table just a little bit, they're unwilling to take it. It's nice to be nice. 

If you want to point out that that's rich coming from me, I can say for certain that I'm only mean and sarcastic to people I know fairly well. I know they know what to expect of me. I know they know I'm kidding when I bitch around. People I've just met on the Internet don't know that and most of the time, they can't handle that, so I amp up my niceness about eighty percent when I'm online.

Right now, I'm going through a rather traumatic Sunday Night Syndrome case. I don't think anymore words need to be said. I'm going to find a nice, good old Harry Potter fanfiction and settle. It's not helping at all that I'm more and more starting to realize how ridiculous people can be. 

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