The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

On the Offense

Review dump for Sexy.
  • Klaine was so, so weird for me. I can't even begin to describe what was wrong with it. Tons of people are wholly satisfied and perfectly happy with the 'developments' this episode has provided to further their plot along but for me, it was sort of a setback in some ways. For one thing, so much secondhand embarrassment for Animal (and I just sort of think it came out of nowhere because Push It and 4 Minutes are Exhibits A to Z. I do try to be patient and factor in insanity as much as I can here, like in this instance, I'm just trying to work the whole thing out and I figure that pre-Karofsky and post-Karofsky Kurt are two completely different people). This is their way of dealing with gay sex, I get it, but it's just not right. Everything about it is just not right. I can't quite place my finger on what it is but I can't shake the feeling that the entire storyline is redundant and can be replaced with something more... relevant. Hilarious. Anything else. Kurt's had so much downer plots that it would have been nice if... well, if Burt had mistakenly thought the two of them were dating and Blaine's trying to teach Kurt to make sexy faces and then the pamphlets and the talk happen and Klaine gets more hilariously (and embarrassingly) awkward? Am I thinking about this too much? The rest was fine. I mean, as always, not the way I would have written it and definitely has nothing on SLS but it didn't make me angry. I'm not feeling anything much for the Burt/Kurt or the Burt/Blaine scenes. In both instances the acting was spot-on, and congratulations for that, as always, but again, as has become habit for this show, the dialogue killed it completely. Like, the Burt/Blaine scene? I like that they're both comfortable enough with each other and I like how much Blaine obviously cares and how personal they got but half of those sentences should be rephrased. 
  • What did make me angry, though? Gwyneth singing Landslide. I get it, really, they needed her as the buffer (and they just wanted her to play guitar for no reason? And tango? And make out with someone? And sing like half the songs on the episode?) but HOLY SHIT people. They've done so many other ridiculous songs sung by completely and ridiculously inappropriate and/or irrelevant people (Kiss, guys, Kiss!) that maybe this could have just been their thing, you know? Brittana's? But no, there's Gwyneth there, and thank you Brad for making Holly make Santana realize how important Brittany is to her and all but... it should have been just them. Holly realizing the error of her promiscuous ways could have been dealt with some other way or time or whatever really. Anyways, I love the way Brittana was handled. I can't really say anything more. Haters can hate but honestly? That was just really well written and the execution by both actresses - Naya's tearing all over the damn episode and Heather's caring-but-still-in-character pouts - are probably what made the episode suck less. A lot less. 
  • Um, Luck was really cute and I don't care that in the context of the episode, they were totally useless and did nothing for the plot and... sex tapes? Really? I don't care. They were Goddamn magnificent. 
  • God knows I don't give a breath of oxygen that could otherwise be used for other plots on Will's love life. Not since Terri left. She was awesome, I don't care what people say. Sue was Sue and she only appeared for a while and even then, I really hated her dialogue. I don't find it out of character or anything, I just didn't like her lines this episode and Sue Sylvester lines are supposed to be legendary! I did love Beiste spending time with Will, though, so points! And John Stamos singing. Yeah, that was quite good (I actually did enjoy the entire Afternoon Delight fiasco and plus, extra crazy-Rachel!). 
  • Will/Holly? Do not care. I don't mind her as a character but as a returning guest star? Pointless beyond words. Grateful for her help in furthering the Brittana, though. 
  • It's not like I didn't enjoy the episode. I do. It's like this: I go on Tumblr and LJ and I see all of these people being completely a hundred percent coherent and eloquent in trying to make sense of what the writers are writing. The direction the show's going in. Character analyses, in-depth discussions, those sorts of things and it got me to thinking that, this is probably why most people are turned off from Glee now. Generally, casual viewers don't acknowledge anything but what's on the surface. Most don't go looking for discussions or fanfiction to quell their minds and it's come to the point that everything seems to have different meanings to everyone, it's like we're not even watching the same show anymore. I just can't help but think that if these people on Tumblr who watch the show religiously and eat up spoilers and just generally enjoy the show but don't even know the first thing about the secrets the characters keep in their hearts and they've probably never interacted with the writers or cast or crew of the show and if they could be this eloquent, if they could make sense of the littlest things and make me feel better at the end of the day, why couldn't RIB? (Oh, God, this made no sense. I just meant that I look at all these people on Tumblr - example: Alicia, with her Klaine commentary - and I can't help but think that she put so much thought behind the characters' every action and if she could do it that eloquently, why can't the actual writers of the show? You know, so that people who aren't knee-deep in fandom would benefit more from watching the show? And actually understand something?).
  • Ever since 2x11, there's just been no real ending to any of the episodes and its little plots. I mean, throwback to "I'm definitely gay" was there, and I really like how they ended Brittana on that note but as for the rest? Downright bottemless pit of suck. 
  • Oh, yeah, about the something I couldn't really put my finger on up there? It's probably this. And maybe a little bit of this as well. (Reiterating that there's nothing about the plot that I hate so much that I really think it could have been written a whole lot better. At least, if the Klaine train's gonna go anywhere).
  • Hopefully, they'll get some real story telling on the road and stop sticking a label on every episode after Regionals. (2x11: football, 2x12: Valentine's, 2x13: weird-ass-Justin-Bieber-semi-worship-and-also-comebacks, 2x14: alcohol, 2x15: sex education, 2x16: Regionals!).
  • Also, thanks for completely ruining Finn/Quinn. They could have been great, you know, as the defunct 'It' couple, the parallel to Will/Terri, the awesome HBICs that would take over the school and yet love each other unconditionally, forgiving each other for cheating/getting pregnant/being stupid/cheating some more/having feelings for other people and all of that. But no. I vote Sam for Prom King because boy's had too much this season and he's not even a main character. He's not even Rachel, who gets so much crap from all the other Glee clubbers. He doesn't deserve girlfriends like Quinn or Santana.
I'm jumping ship. At least until Original Songs. I'm not sorry, not really, it's just that I can't bear to see them treat a favorite pairing of mine so cavalierly. I'll stay on Tumblr for the most part because shipping wars aside, they really are quite heart-warming over there, but I'm staying away from LJ and fanfiction. I hereby swear to abstain from Klaine fandom outside of Tumblr until Original Songs. As for temporarily jumping ships? I'm going to find a nice Brittana corner and cozy on in there.

I'm tired of going to school everyday and feeling like everyone's personally attacking me on all fronts. It's not that I'm presuming or assuming anything because I'm not. It's also not like I actually really take this to heart but being in the state that I'm in (which, admittedly, might as well be comatose) makes it all the more worse because every little thing that people say, I'll just sort of feel the hurt. I know whatever they say, it's nothing against me, and well, they don't even know half of it, surely, but it's just that to think that last year, I was completely fine and last year, it didn't matter and last year, it was never anything more than just a joke.

I wish it would still be just a joke. Because honestly? I can't really handle it that much anymore. I mean, sure, maybe I was going through something way worse last year because it was only the beginning then and, well, it was so much more confusing at that stage but to be perfectly honest, I think that halfway down the road, I actually found people who were willing to listen and help me help myself. 

Now that I've admitted to being totally comfortable with everything, well, it just feels like to ask for help now would be inappropriate. I just wish I didn't feel like this and I wish that I had other things to focus on but fact of the matter is that I don't. Well, I do have a lot on my plate but nothing's really getting me outside of my own head. I wish I could get out, though. That would be a few dozen burdens lifted. 

Hey, y'all don't know or care about what I'm talking about. 

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