The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


If you're wondering what the result of writing over fifteen thousand words in one day is, wonder no more: 

Oh, my God, I'm reading RPF, I can't believe I'm reading RPF omg omg omg imagine if I had gone to school today I wouldn't be reading RPF!!!!!!!!!!!

Also thanks a lot to my friends, all of whom are useless assholes and I have no idea why I even bother but I do so maybe one day someone would just realize what assholes all of you are and I'll just be sitting somewhere to the side, laughing maniacally, you useless band of assholes.

Also now that Aladdin's over, I bid goodbye to like an entire year of piano playing because really? When do I even have the time? Aladdin took a lot out of me because not only did I practically do all of the incidentals by myself (like seriously it's just me me me and if you looked at all the sheets, they're all written in my hand), I had to arrange most of the songs as well (once again, all you need is to refer to like all the sheets, the notes, the everything, I basically handled all of the music for Aladdin and I'm not even all that good for fuck's sake, says the girl who quite piano class).

Which reminds me of the one time someone told me that 'fuck doesn't have a sake'. Fucking l'esprit de l'escalier, man, later on I just wanted to scream at that person (I genuinely forgot who it was) "It's a figure of speech, dumbass!" and, wow, I haven't called anyone a dumbass in a long time.

Back to no piano for a whole year. I spent all of Monday, tired as i was, thinking that we would be doing Wicked for the second half for no reason at all other than maybe I've been going to sleep with Glee radio playing in the background. Welp no, of course, as I mentioned we're secretly all doing (shh, it's a secret) Next To Normal but I'm not supposed to say that, it's a secret. It's going to take so much to just get this running but we're gonna do the best we can and for the first time in ever for Drama, i'm going to be acting, super huge seal clap! But maybe I'll still be doing incidentals but not actually working like actually hands on working with the music and stuff? So yeah, I thought we were doing Wicked but I wasn't really paying attention as I had a shitload of homework to do so I ignored everyone for the most part.

Am i going to miss piano? Nope not at all. That monstrosity kind of got on my nerves, to be honest. I mean, I know I'm not bad at it and it really is great exercise for the fingers, really, but can't say I'm not going to miss dreaming about notes floating around in my head. That's just creepy. Also no guitar for me surprisingly because you would think that they would just hand me the entire strings section on a silver platter right? Wrong. No, not at all. No work at all. No more late night stress skype conversations. No more staring at scores until my eyes bleed. No more no more no more!!!!

Goodbye black and whites!

[Holy shit I think my bag of green beans just emitted a click clacking sound.]

Don't mind me, I'm currently in a mood where I just can't give a fuck because I'm almost done with the story I'm working on because I wrote around fifteen thousand words IN ONE DAY!!!! you would think that they would just hand me the entire strings section on a silver platter right? Oh, God, that was so obnoxious haha. I'll edit everything tomorrow.

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