No. You're right, you know, everything I've said and done for the past two months is not in spite of how I feel, but because of it. It doesn't matter that that was in the past and it doesn't matter that that's not my future. What does matter is how I feel and for once in my life, I want to do something about it to make myself feel better. Sadly, this isn't one of those situations that I can easily fix.
There are some things I need to do and say before I can finally put this matter behind me once and for all but, like I said, I don't really have anyone to turn to this year, just like the beginning of last year, and all I really, really want is for someone to just be there to listen. But if that were possible, I wouldn't be going through this in the first place.