The glorious and triumphant return of now-19 year old Blogger, the revival of a once-grand and dare I say influential webspace that produced daily content, and the crippling anxiety of a young woman who no longer has any time or motivation to write, and feels like any ability she had acquired in the past through repetition and sheer will alone is now slowly slipping out of her grasp. Brief history of the Blog and Blogger can be found here.

Here be personal journal entries, observations, slices of life, questions and conclusions, as well as exploration of social and political topics seen through the lens of a Malaysian Muslim, feminist, lesbian, Marxist, and horse enthusiast.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Three Second Rule

No. You're right, you know, everything I've said and done for the past two months is not in spite of how I feel, but because of it. It doesn't matter that that was in the past and it doesn't matter that that's not my future. What does matter is how I feel and for once in my life, I want to do something about it to make myself feel better. Sadly, this isn't one of those situations that I can easily fix. 

There are some things I need to do and say before I can finally put this matter behind me once and for all but, like I said, I don't really have anyone to turn to this year, just like the beginning of last year, and all I really, really want is for someone to just be there to listen. But if that were possible, I wouldn't be going through this in the first place. 

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